Ever looked into you past and started to see the things you did then and you are like "Aah did I really do this? you look into the friends you had then and where you are now and you start wondering where you went wrong? Or you start wondering what you lacked then that you have now? You even ask God why me?That is me.
I am going to start this in a very simple way. Sometimes we are just impossible beings when we cannot see where we are going. Looking back to the things I have done and the trials I have passed, I usually feel I deserved them for I was lost.
Whenever someone you entirely depend on leaves your life, sometimes we get find ourselves in a very trying moment and we wonder how we are going to come out of such a situation. I have gone through that and after he left all that remained was hell at home. The fees, the meals the upkeep and all other sweet things life just vanished and what remained was just a vacuum in our entire lives and we were now hopeless and helpless, a situation worse that pain. This pushed me to the edge to start a life i was not ready for. A life that was full of "fun" but deep down was ailing, wishing that I would meet him along the way.
I did drop out of school not because I was not bright but because I could not bear seeing my mom in such a situation. Life can be trying sometimes and you even wish you were not born but my friend you are here for a purpose. I would wake up in the morning and wander the whole day each day with a new direction. I almost though I was a domestic tourist because I did see great things. I had to survive so I did what I had to do to survive. I survived on other people's farms. It was only some few months that I went through that hell with my family I could not take it anymore but what am I to do? Life did change after that I did start working on Feb 21st 2001 but that was after mom forced me to it. after which we had better days but I am a drop out now best in my class and top in the school. Is this how I was to end up? No it is not my end! Things did change and I did get a second chance but was I ready? Was I the same? how did I cope? Do I still regret? Am I mad at him?
There will always be times when you cannot face what life has to offer but what is more important is how decide to react. My journey have been a trying one. Maybe not the worst but has changed me. This is just the beginning of it. the beginning of a journey full of trials and inhumane behavior.
Find out how I got to The place I am more than 15 years later in the my weekly post on My Diary.
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